


No Strings

by Kattwyllie



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Play, Butt Plugs, Developing Relationship, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26018206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie
Summary: You've been the newest detective with the SVU squad for a few months and somehow have become friends with Rafael Barba, after a night of celebrating with the squad, one thing leads to another. It's obviously a FWB situation...for a matter of time only
Relationships: Rafael Barba & Reader, Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

It was the middle of August, and the heat of New York hit you like a sauna as you stepped out onto the street, thankful that despite it being _kind of_ a work gathering, you’d opted for fitted dress shorts. At least the tank top you chose was buttoned and collared, makeup and hair fresh after the day spent with friends out in the city. Luckily the humid evening made for a pleasant walk down to the bar; it was some lawyer’s birthday, Trevor? You thought his name was, a casual night some of the squad had invited you to join that you’d happily accepted. You had been at SVU for nearly 10 months now, but was still labelled the “new girl” and wanted to make sure you showed the support to the squad both in AND outside of work. 

Pushing the door to the pub, distracted, replying to a couple of texts on your phone as you headed up to the bar, tossing down your card & waiting for the bartender. As you leaned over, smiling to greet them was when you gained attention from the A.D.A. you DID know, who, used to only seeing you in dress clothes, hair neatly tied back, in professional mode, tried to hide his gaze as his eyes wandered up your curves exposed to the humid August night. He certainly wasn’t used to this feeling, and he definitely felt the blood rushing to a work inappropriate area.The two of you had worked lots of cases over the time you’d spent at SVU many involving long office hours, long nights playfully (and sometimes not so playfully) bickering back and fourth. Completely professional, but you had gotten along, friends even, you may have been new, but you were smart, quick witted, and had a fire behind your eyes that he definitely wanted to see more of.

“Double Lagavulin, 2 cubes, please. Can you keep the tab open?” You said sweetly, smiling at the bartender as he nodded, pouring your scotch before you spotted Olivia, heading over to her table to join in on the festivities. Luckily, despite her being the Sergeant, she’d been quick to take Y/N under her wing, especially outside work since they had some similar personal history. 

“Hey” Liv greeted warmly, “What is this, casual Friday?” She laughed.

“Wow Sarge….” Y/N retorted, laughing herself, “I was out with friends, and it’s a million degrees out there. Give a girl a chance to not wear business attire and she’s gonna!” Smiling as you took a generous sip of your drink, you noticed Barba seemed quiet, strangely out of character. “What? Ya’ never seen a girl drink a scotch before?” You gave him a little nudge, breaking him out of his trance. He shook his head, exhaling a laugh as he rolled his eyes playfully.

“Just never thought you’d be the one drinking it” He replied, taking a sip of his own. He looked nice tonight, still the put together man you knew from work, but simply in a dress shirt, unbuttoned a few buttons, sleeves rolled up already to combat the heat. You had to admit, you did miss the suspenders, but this casual Barba was something you could definitely appreciate. 

“You think just ‘cuz I’m the newest on the squad and I’m a girl I’d rather a cosmopolitan?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“A Cosmo? Hmm…no, definitely not….” He paused, thinking, “Long Island, vodka cran maybe…” You threw back a laugh,

“Barba please, you know Y/L/N’s a not like that, she’s proven that over her time at SVU, let her drink her scotch in peace.” Olivia laughed from beside you. You gave Barba a wink as an unfamiliar man joined the table. “Y/L/N, This is Trevor Langan!” She introduced you.

“Hi! Happy Birthday!” You exclaimed as you shook his hand, “Glad I could finally meet you.” He turned to Liv, offering to buy her a drink, and the two of them disappeared to the bar. A moment passed before the man next to you nudged your arm, bringing you back to reality.

“You did really well on the Miller case, it was a rough one. Without your interrogation or testimony I doubt we would’ve won it.” 

“Thanks” you gave a soft smile, “Never knew you were one for following up with congratulators Mr Barba.” He smiled over his glass at you across the small table, thinking how beautiful you looked, relaxed, sun kissed, hair flowing across your shoulders, and outside the squad room, how he wished he could see you like this more often, your relaxed frame making him weak.

“You know, you can call me Rafael.” Your eyes widened slightly, the ADA certainly wasn’t this friendly with all the other detectives, but you weren’t about to protest. “Now,” He smiled, “How ‘bout another drink?” You smirked, grabbing his empty glass with yours as you twirled yourself around the man

“I’ve got a tab” With a wink, you were off to the bar to get some refills.

*****

A few hours of flirtation, casual work talk, and a few more scotch’s, and you found yourself settling your tab at the bar before heading over to the stragglers of the group to say your goodbyes. Rafael, Fin, and Carisi were the ones left, Olivia & Amanda having left earlier for mom duty. None of you were overly drunk, happily tipsy, and each in complete control of yourself. You headed to the booth, grabbing your bag as you started your goodbyes. Barba turned to you and asked which way you were going, when you replied “Midtown” he said he was heading in the same direction and offered to go with you.

“Barba please, It’s a short walk, I can manage”

“Seriously, you work for SVU and you’re going to walk home, alone, in the middle of the night, after a few drinks?” He raised his eyebrows at you. 

“What? I show a little leg & I’m not allowed to go outside alone?” You joke, rolling your eyes, as you glanced around the table you knew if you didn’t accept his offer now, there was no way Carisi was letting you leave that bar alone either. “Fine, c’mon.” You gesture to Rafael, “G’night guys, I’ll see ya Monday” you gesture to the other men left at your table as you head out into the sweet summer night with the Cuban you’ve not so secretly been dying to be alone with all night.

The two of you small talk along the way, his hand occasionally brushing yours, the usual joking, sassing, you could keep up with each other like no one else could. Within 15 minutes, you reached your apartment door. As you slowed to a stop, Raf looked back at you slowly realizing the night was nearly over, a swell of sadness took over his eyes for a flash.

“You weren’t kidding?”

“Nope. Nice and close, would’ve been totally fine” 

“A lot can happen in 15 minutes…:”

You rolled your eyes, knowing that New York could be dangerous, but also knowing that you were a detective, currently without her shield and gun, you recognized his concern. You also recognized that this moment, was probably the best chance to shoot your shot. “Well, you’re already here…how about a nightcap?” Your cocked eyebrow and smug grin was all Rafael needed to nod his head as he followed you into the building.

“Make yourself at home” You gestured into the apartment, Rafael took in your home as he made his way in, the door opened right into a very open concept, kitchen against the wall, island & small dining table “separating” it from the living room. A tv, small keyboard, and shelves full of your favourite books and nick-nacks filled the space facing the floor to ceiling windows leading out to the patio. 

“Wow…” Rafael commented as he looked around, he was impressed, and happy to be getting more of an insight into your life. “How can you afford this on your salary?” He didn’t mean to be intrusive, it just came out. You giggled from the open kitchen, a sound he could definitely get used to, before replying, as you poured two glasses of scotch. 

“I’m pretty sure if I tell you, I’d have to kill you.” You looked over to him in the living room, admiring the wall behind the keyboard as you handed him his glass, brushing up against him a little closer than in the bar. 

“Did… you take these?” He suggested towards the small canvas prints on the wall, all of New York, some detailed pictures of people in iconic places.

“Yeah…I dabbled with photography for a while in school, needed some kind of side hustle.” You shrugged it off. “But c’mon, the real magic isn’t in here!” You lit up, grabbing his hand as you pushed open the door to the patio, a small, but still lavish spot. A small jacuzzi in the corner, comfy benches, but most importantly, an amazing view of the city in front of you. 

“Well this view certainly is something” Rafael murmured, taking a swig of his drink before he placed it down on a table, and approached your back as you took in the warm summer air. His brain ran through a million different moments over the past few months, over the evening at the bar, and came to a quick conclusion. You jumped a little as you felt him right behind you, his hands on your hips, his breath on your neck. “But this is something else.” He whispered quietly.

“Raf…” You breathed. He pulled your body tight into his, feeling the hotter heat from him than the air. His hands snaked around your midsection, staying respectable as his lips began their assault on your neck, Slowly and very deliberately making their way down to your shoulder, slowly pulling your top further from your neck.He slowly moved back up as his fingers traced feather light trails up and down your sides, slowly playing down your hips until his lips found that sweet spot on your neck. A little nip first, to judge your reaction, a gasp of satisfaction, he smirked, biting down harder, then quickly kissing the same spot. You whispered a moan as he turned you in his arms to face him, you were flushed and breathless, completely at his whim. 

“Yes cariño?” He murmured, his pointer finger circled under your chin, bringing it up to face him, your eyes wide and excited, pupils blown with lust. Without replying, you reached up to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss, feeling his lips on yours for the first time was exactly what you’d imagined. Soft, yet assertive, you may have made the first move but there was no question who was in control anymore. He slid his tongue across your lower lip and you let him into your mouth, massaging his tongue with yours, moaning into his mouth, no kiss before had ever been quite like this one, the fire surging through your body. His hands found your hips, pulling you tightly against his strong body, arms wrapping tightly around your back, a hand slowly creeping down to cup your ass. You shivered a little bit, not sure if it was the New York breeze or a reaction of the kiss, Rafael slowly pulled away from you, looking down with soft eyes.

“Should we maybe head inside?” His eyebrow cocked, that usual smug smirk on his face, you gently laughed, shaking your head before kissing him again, slowly walking backwards into the apartment, barely able to detach yourself from his body. “Wait…”He muttered, your heart briefly stopped, was this not what he wanted? “This stays professional, no strings attached okay? We both know neither of us have enough time for anything more than that.”

“Of course.” You looked up lightly smiling, “We’re way too busy, and the whole dating someone you work with, not a great idea. I understand.” He smirked at you, you were at a mutual understanding before he kissed you again, you nipped gently at his bottom lip before descending onto his neck, ever so slowly starting to unbutton his shirt before dropping it to the floor. Rafael softly stroked your cheek, his green eyes delicate, but full of fire at the same time.

“You are absolutely stunning.” He whispered, showing off that soft side before pulling you into a deep kiss again, it was hot and heavy, his hands grabbed at the back of your thighs, lifting you up as you wrapped your legs around his hips, grinding against him as he moaned into your mouth. “Bedroom?” He managed.

“End of the hall” You breathed against his lips, pulling him even closer to your body, earning for any amount of friction and contact you could get. He put you down on your feet as he pulled away from your lips, his hands travelling from your face, ghosting across your neck, before hitting the top button of your blouse. His eyes followed his hands as he slowly undid the first two buttons.

“You’re sure this is okay?” Rafael looked directly into your eyes at the last question, needing your 100% approval.

“Yes” You whimpered back to him.

“Say stop, and I’ll stop, I promise.” You nodded, tip toeing up to his lips again as he quickly pulled off your shirt, starting to unbutton your shorts as you reached behind to undo your own bra, dropping it all to the floor. His touches were torturously slow, making their way along your exposed skin before they hit your ribs, his hands gripping your sides as his thumbs skimmed across the underside of your breasts. You sharply inhaled, wanting more, craving more, needing more, but Rafael knew what he was doing, and he loved it. With just that teasing touch, his hands trailed back down your sides until the reached your hips, he let one hand trail across your thigh before he slowly swiped at your folds through your underwear. You fully pulled away from his lips and gasped, burying your face in his neck. He chuckled, slowly, and ever so softly circling your clit. “Oh cariño, this all for me?” He smirked, using his free hand to move your head to face him.

“Yes.” The teasing was killing you, you’d already been pining after the Cuban A.D.A for months, and this certainly wasn’t helping your need. Rafael mumbled something in Spanish as he pushed you back on the bed, letting you watch as he slowly undid his belt, dropping his pants to the growing pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Slowly climbing over you he kissed you again, deeply, as your hands wrapped around his back. He took his time kissing down your body, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his thumb & forefinger toyed with the other one, pinching slightly, making you moan. You could feel his smirk against your skin as he continued his assault down your body until he reached your hips. Ever so lightly, he pulled your panties off, kissing up your leg as he made his way back up to where you craved his contact with your skin. He spread your legs, his breath warm against your thighs and swore in Spanish before poking his head up so you could see his face.

“As I said….completely stunning” He winked before biting the inside of your thigh, making you gasp.

“Raf….please!” You begged, pushing your hips up right before his mouth swung back down, swiping your folds. He slowly teased you, _fuck if you ever brought this man a case file on time again if this was his strategy_ , you thought. His mouth enveloped your clit, a tiny few licks against it before sucking it into his mouth. You swore, your hands flying to his hair, ruining the perfect coif. Rafael alternated between licking you and sucking your clit before laying back on your clit, and slowly sinking a finger inside of you, slowly torturously pumping it in and out. “Fuuuuuck” Was about all you could say as a second finger slowly entered with it, scissoring you, preparing you. Those fingers slowly curled up, hitting just the right spot, and you moaned loudly, a few more hard sucks while he tapped your g-spot and you were cumming hard, thriving against him as he held your hips down on the bed.

You could imagine the smirk on his face before you saw it, even as you came down from your orgasm. Rafael slowly kissed up your body, settling on your lips again, you could taste yourself, and fuck that was somehow even sexier. He gave you a minute to recover, trailing his fingers across your thighs & lower abdomen. You smiled into his neck, taking the opportunity to play back and nip at his skin as your hands snaked down his body, pushing at the waistband of his boxers. Doing his best to assist you, he kneeled back on his haunches, relieving himself from the confines of the boxers, before tossing them to the ever-growing pile on the floor. You tried to hide your excitement as you took him all in, you knew he was cocky in the courtroom, and there certainly was a reason why. Nudging your thighs apart with his knee he moved in-between them, lowering down to take a nipple in his mouth again, nipping at it before pulling back and looking you in the eye again.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Raf, please” You practically begged.

“Are you on the pill?” He questioned quietly, you nodded, mentioning you were clean, been tested recently before he lowered himself over you, slowly sliding into you, causing you both to moan out in satisfaction. It was like you were made for each other, the way you fit together, he stretched you like no one ever before, but it wasn’t painful at all, you were in complete ecstasy.

“Oh my god Rafa..” You breathed into his ear as he settled against you, nipping at your earlobe.

“Fuck you feel amazing” He breathed back as he slowly pulled out before pushing back into you, creating a rhythm. You felt incredible, this was absolutely nothing you’d ever dreamed of happening, and your body was on fire, each thrust pushing you closer to the maximum. You pulled Rafael close and kissed deep, pulling his lower lip with you as you pulled away before practically begging.

“Harder….please” He looked down at you before smirking again and pulling out.

“Okay carino, if that’s what you want” As he gently swatted at your hip, motioning for you to turn over. You propped yourself up on your elbows, waggling your ass to him as he realigned himself before pushing in, hard and fast, his thrusts pounding you deeper into the bed.

“Fuck! Raf” You nearly screamed as you could feel every ridge hitting you in all the right spots, his hands digging into your hips tightly, there was no doubt you were going to be marked by him tomorrow. Barba kept pounding into you, reaching a hand around over to your clit, quickly rolling it between your fingers as yours dug into the sheets of the bed.

“Come for me carino…” He pulled you up his chest flush against your back, fingers working against you, thrusting into you front behind “Come for Papi, now.” With that little added word, you were gone, his arm dropped from your chest as you fell forward to the mattress, moaning his name as he fucked you through your orgasm as his slowly took him over. He slowed his thrusts as he came, gently hovering his body above yours as he kissed the back of your neck and shoulders. “Good girl” he praised in a whisper, slowly removing himself from you as he collapsed on his back on the other side of the bed. 

Both of you needed a few moments of heavy breathing coming down from you session before you turned to face Rafael.

“Holy shit…” You breathed.

“Agreed” Rafael muttered as he reached over to you, pulling you into his side, letting you cuddle into his side for a few long moments before he continued his thoughts. “I….I hate to ruin the moment but, remember, no one from work needs to know about this, okay?”

You barked a quiet laugh at his comment, “You….hate to ruin the moment…isn’t that your number one quality?” He snickered, giving your ass a smack, “Don’t worry Barba, I’m not saying anything. Could you imagine the field day Carisi would have with something like this?!” You both laughed heartily as he pulled the duvet up over both of you, holding you gently until you fell into a gentle sleep. He kissed your forehead, pulling himself quietly from your bed, picking up his clothes before he snuck from your apartment, there was no good in sleepovers between coworkers.


	2. Chapter 2

“Y/L/N” Benson jolted you out of your half daydream, half paying attention to the computer in front of you, “Do me a favour, run these case files over to Barba for me, will you?” She held the file folders, dropping it gently on your desk. You looked up expectantly, but she’d already retreated to her office, no more aware about anything going on between you & A.D.A Barba. About two months back things got pretty hot and heavy. Since then you’d kept things very quiet, but had continued on with your bi-weekly shenanigans, involvement in the workplace was always frowned upon, especially in your line of work. You threw the files into your bag as you grabbed your blazer, gearing up for the walk over to the D.A’s office, it was a nice day out, so at least Olivia gave you a nice break from staring a screen for an hour or two. 

Carmen nodded at you as you approached Barba’s office, knocking gently on the door frame before entering. He looked up from his paperwork, smiling gently, it had always been an added bonus to his day when you swung by, but he was happier to see you now.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He spoke. You smiled back, dropping a styrofoam cup of coffee in front of him.

“Thought you might need another one.” 

“And you remember how I like my coffee?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I assumed black….like your soul” You smirked, Rafael rolled his eyes, taking a swig from the cup, thankful for the caffeine boost.

“And I thought you were the gentle one from SVU.” You barked back a laugh, taking a swig from your own coffee.

“Really Barba, have you met me?” He completely ignored your comment, looking back towards his work.

“Benson said you were bringing me case files, as much as I appreciate the caffeine fix, that won’t help me win the case.” He was holding back, the warmth you brought into his office was very well received, but he needed to keep up his lawyerly ways, especially inside the office.

You rolled your eyes, taking a seat across from Rafael’s desk as you dug through your bag before you pulled the files out, dropping them on his desk “Did you _really_ think I would show up here empty handed?” You raised a brow.

“I wouldn’t put it past you to show up here with some kind of excuse.” Barba let a little smile as he picked up the files, leafing through them. You watched him, smiling as you monitored the changes in his face, he appeared satisfied and smirking as he put the files down. “Thank you, this is exactly what we needed.” You nodded at the response.

“You can thank the whole squad, not just me” You stood from your chair, ready to head back to the squad room as Rafael moved around his desk.

“I can at least thank you for the coffee, right?” He smiled, stroking your cheek with his thumb, before kissing you gently. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning into the kiss, this whole thing may have been very casual between the two of you, but you weren’t going to let little moments like this go to waste.

“Maybe when this whole things done with you’ll come over for dinner? Get some food in you that’s not three days old?” You suggested, pulling a smile from him.

“When this is over there’ll only be about another 30 cases left to solve” he smirked as you rolled your eyes, “But yes, that sounds great” You turned to leave the office, a swift smack on the ass told you exactly what you had to look forward to when dinner was done.


	3. Chapter 3

Christmas night, you stood alone in your apartment kitchen, waiting for the timer on the toaster over to beep. It had been five months since you’d started sleeping with a certain fiery Cuban A.D.A. You’d been happily continuing the _“relationship”,_ having no problem considering it was rather hard to try and find a date considering your hours, job, and suspect of practically every man you came by. Christmas was always a stressful time of year, there was always a million extra things to do, a million extra cases to try, and there was no way you wanted to deal with anything on top of work, so you’d decided to take things easy this year. You’d opted to stay in New York, and were completely happy with your meal for one and bottle of wine as you tossed yourself down on the couch, a marathon of your favourite Christmas shows on tv in front of you. Around 10:30pm, your phone began to ring, you eyebrows creased, confused as you’d already talked to your family, you turned down the volume on the tv before picking up the phone, a spread of warmth coursed through your veins when you realized it was Rafael.

“Hey stranger.” You smiled as you answered, “Thought you’d be busy tonight.” You knew his Mami and Abuela lived in the city, and figured he’d be spending the night with them, happy to be given a sliver of his time. 

“I just got home, thought I might check on my favourite detective.” 

“You playing favourites now? And I thought Carisi would’ve won that one.” He laughed lightly, glad to hear that you were in good spirits.

“How are you?”

“Good. Honestly, this time of year is crazy, I didn’t need to deal with taking the tiny amount of time off I had to drive 5 hours to be berated by family for 2 days.” You rolled your eyes, to say your family was demanding was to say the least, it had been a huge relief to finally get to New York and not have to deal with them all the time. You’d never been super close with any of them, and weren’t in contact very often anymore.

“So what, you spend Christmas alone?” Raf felt a twinge of guilt, wondering if maybe he should have swung by your apartment on his way home.

“Please, you know I’ve got a nice bottle of wine to keep me happy.” You laughed, taking another sip, humming in content.

“Naturally.” Rafael mused, taking a moment of pause, “Merry Christmas Cariño.”

“Merry Christmas Rafa.” You replied quietly, a smile splayed on your cheeks, “Thanks for the check in.”

“Anytime.”

“I’ll see you next week?”

“Of course.” He replied softly, glad to know that you were the one stuck on holiday duty.It was confirmed the conversation had ended, so when he hung up you weren’t offended, turning back to your wine and movie marathon, curling deeper into the couch, more than content with your quiet holiday, and happy to know that you had someone in New York who truly cared.


	4. Chapter 4

A week of Christmas cheer had passed, the Holiday season was still heavily in swing, and you’d been back to work before you knew it. There were other detectives who’d asked for more time off, more time over the holidays to see extended family, especially those who were further away. Olivia was thankful for you staying in New York, the holidays always brought a surplus of cases for the minimum amount of detectives that were on duty. So, there you sat, in a conference room, at 11:50pm on New Years Eve, head buried in a mountain of case work, the tv on in the background on NYE covers, simply for white noise. You would’ve been at your desk but the station was way too loud, the overflow from downstairs filled SVU’s lock up with drunken morons, plus you needed your room to work, case files, laptop, not to mention the pizza box, from your delivered dinner a few hours ago. The conference room you chose was barely used, at the end of a darkened hallway, much more secluded from the noise. You had no place to be, and Liv was okay with you taking overtime, so even she had left by this time.

You barely heard the dress shoes come down the hallway, you lightly heard the voice, but you knew the light in your conference room would give you away so you didn’t say anything. You were focussed on a file when a figure appeared in the doorway, and you could recognize the sass in the way he leaned against the door before he spoke.

“Really? They’ve got you working on New Years Eve?” You rolled your eyes, glancing up at Barba.

“And what? You’re here for fun?” He chuckled slightly, moving into the room.

“I needed to drop off something for Olivia, left it on her desk, but I saw the light…” He trailed off.

“What’s the point in going out and celebrating? Bunch of drunk idiots making fools of themselves,” You jerked your head towards the noise coming from the bull pen, “May as well work on some cases, try to get some justice.” Your attention hadn’t deviated from the file in front of you, the fact that you were so focussed, much less on a Holiday many people loved, made Rafael feel even more fondly for you.

“Hey….”He spoke gently, you finally looked up, watching Raf glance at his watch as he moved toward you “You know it’s very close to midnight.” He smirked, you cocked an eyebrow in response, standing up slowly, only to tease him as you grabbed a file out of the box closest to him.

“Really?” You tossed the file into your growing pile, moving closer to him “And what would that mean?” You were so close your lips could ghost over his, he smiled into it, the tv in the background counting down to the new year in front of you.

“That I get a kiss.” Rafael murmured gently, waiting for the “…1!!!” Before kissing you, his lips molding perfectly to yours, hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him as yours played with the hairs on his neck. He slowly pulled away, “Happy New Year….”

“Happy New Year.” You repeated, gently stroking the back of his neck, lost to the world.

“Cariño, put this work away. It’s an actual holiday, take some time off.” You rolled your eyes,

“Fine.” You started packing up the files, knowing they could stay in the room for the weekend, tossing the takeout in the garbage before you grabbed your coat, following Rafael out of the building. As you reached the street you stifled a large yawn, realizing just how tired you were. “Rafa…I should probably just head home.” It was a reluctant statement, but a true one. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close enough to him he could smell your perfume, happily breathing in the intoxicating scent.

“I know….you need to stop working so much.” You scoffed at his remark.

“Really?! Coming from you??”

“Hey!” He laughed, “Let’s just get you home safe okay?”

“Okay.” You murmured into his shoulder as he lead you down the Manhattan streets.


	5. Chapter 5

You sat on Rafael’s couch, laptop perched in your lap, legs extended as you researched through the files Olivia had left for you. It may have been late, but the benefit of working from “home “ was the Cuban A.D.A. sitting on the opposite end of the couch, completely engrossed with his own work while his right hand slowly trailed its way up & down your legs, conveniently draped across his lap. At least this way, if anyone was to show up or call unexpectedly, you could use work as the excuse. After flipping through the case file AGAIN, you sighed heavily, shutting the laptop in front of you. Rafael glanced over at you lightning quick.

“Over it already?” 

“Barba please,” You rolled your eyes, “It’s Friday night, I shouldn’t be working this late normally, and this case is going nowhere, AND I’m starving; there’s no way I’m focussing on this anymore” You stood up, walking back to the kitchen and opening the fridge as if something delicious would materialize inside. Eggs, milk, some out of date vegetables, there was definitely nothing here you should consume. Sighing again you shut the fridge and turned back to Barba, still engrossed in his work “You literally have no food, how do you live like this? I’m gonna order something, what’s your address? Anything specific you like or don’t like?” He grunted in response as you dialled the number of your favourite Chinese place, putting in your normal order with a few extra items to satisfy the man on the couch.

Half an hour later, food covered the living room table, laptops and file cases thrown aside to dig into the delicious dinner, and closest to an actual meal either you or Rafael had eaten in god knows how long.

“Thank you y/n” Barba mumbled over some noodles, “I doubt I’d actually have a dinner aside from scotch if it wasn’t for you.” You chuckled lightly.

“Seriously? You really need to spend less time in your office. As much as you’d like, you can’t survive off coffee and whiskey!”

“At least get breakfast in every day!”

“One meal does not count…”

“Tell me detective, how many proper meals do YOU eat every day?”

“Okay, okay, case closed counsellor.” A comfortable silence came over the two of you as you dug through the take out boxes, finally satisfying your screaming stomachs with food. As you slowed down, and you were tempted to start actually working again, despite it being well past work hours, you started to pack up the containers. The fridge was empty and Rafael could use some leftovers when he came home tomorrow. You glanced back to Barba reaching for his laptop once again, “Rafa…. please….” He glanced back at you, putting the computer back on the table, “Take a break. I know this case means a lot, but it’s Friday night, you need to relax, put the case away.” He closed the laptop, tossing it to the sofa chair.

“Fine.” He smiled gently at you “Bring me a drink cariño?” You added a second glass of scotch and walked back over to the couch, swigging the amber liquid as he did, smirking as you put it down on the coffee table. Rafael smiled up at you as you straddled his lap, slowing bringing your body closer to his, your lips ghosting over his. 

“You know…they say there’s another way to distract from work…” You lingered, pressing a soft kiss to his smiling lips.

“Oh really?” He raised a brow, his hands slowly tracing down your body, grabbing your ass tightly, “And what distraction is that?”Rafael stroked a loose hair behind your ear, his hand trailing up your side, slowly pulling your shirt above your head, tossing it onto the floor. “Fuck hermosa.” He muttered, slowly kissing down your neck, across your chest.

“Rafa…”You breathed, leaning into him, eager for his touch. He bit into your neck gently, causing you to gasp as you ground yourself against his hips. You pulled away, smirking at Rafael as you slowly pushed your body away from his, lowering yourself down to the floor on your knees, happy your face was finally equal with his crotch. You easily undid his pants, his hips lifted to make things easier for you as you slid his pants and boxers off, enamoured with the thickness in front of you. You caught eye contact with him quickly as you slowly licked him, base to tip, kissing his head before you pulled it into your mouth, sucking heavily. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him in as deeply as you could, cupping his balls with your hand. He moaned deeply, appreciative of your skills as he started to fuck your mouth, loving everything about it. You gagged slightly, when he pulled you off his cock, a few minutes of breath he smirked before pulling you up by your hair.

“C’mere Cariño” Rafael muttered, pulling you into a deep kiss as he swiftly pushed your pants to the floor, running a finger through your folds, watching you gasp before you settled yourself above him. Slowly, you moved your body down, enveloping Rafael inside of you. The feeling was impeccable as you started to move up and down against him, moaning in pleasure. Rafael started rutting against you, pushing his hips up, gripping yours with a bruising grip with one hand while his other hand rerouted to your clit, starting to rub quick harsh circles against it. You gasped deeply, biting into Barba’s neck, continuing to thrust against his hips as his mouth found your nipple, biting lightly before circling it with his tongue. You threw your head back in pleasure, continuing to ride him, the only sounds filling the apartment were gasps and moans from both of you, and skin on skin. You’d both been working such insane hours, it really didn’t take much for either of you to reach your orgasms, panting against each other as you started to come down from the high.

Breathing heavily, you slowly lifted your head, Rafael caught you in a kiss, or, as much as a kiss someone in need of air that you were could kiss. You laughed lightly, pulling yourself off the ADA , curling into his side as he pulled a blanket over your naked body.

**

A few hours of Netflix later and you sighed heavily as you checked your phone, realizing the time.

“It’s late…” You murmured, removing yourself from Rafael’s embrace, pulling your clothes back onto your body, as much as you wanted to fall asleep on that couch, you knew you couldn’t show up to the precinct wearing the same clothes “I’ve got to be at work early.” Looking back at Barba, you saw his eyes subtle, he reached out to stroke your hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow cariño?” It was gentle, soft, he stood up, kissing you once more before you pulled yourself away, smiling at him as you left his apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

“We find the defendant, not guilty.” The head juror announced and your head fell. This had been a big case for SVU, and a big case for Rafael, you knew both were going to take the blow from it all. You could see Barba’s shoulders slump from where you were sitting, originally the two of you had plans for tonight, you’d hoped it’d be a celebratory thing, but this clearly wasn’t an option. You smiled briefly at Olivia, apologizing that you hadn’t done more before leaving the courthouse, ending up around the corner, where you ordered your regular double scotch, 1 ice cube, at least SOMETHING could maybe make you feel better. 

It was about half an hour after your first drink you felt someone next to you who ordered 2 more scotches, sliding one over to you. You looked up, giving a disheartened smile to Barba.

“Rough day?” He asked.

“As if you didn’t already know.” You replied, downing the original drink in front of you.

“You had no way of controlling it” His voice was curt, he wasn’t trying to be short with you, he knew it wasn’t your fault. Times like this were when having relations with coworkers made things difficult, he didn’t want to pick a fight, to hurt your feelings was the last thing he wanted to do. He kept flip flopping, knowing that it was inevitable that the day would come when it would be your mistake that caused a flaw in a case, he was trying not to think about it.

“I know…I just….I wish I could’ve done more. I feel like I made a huge mistake.”

“I promise you, nothing that NYPD did is why I’m angry” Rafael threw back his full glass of whisky, no care to the world, the man was on a mission, and tonight, it involved getting drunk. His hand tickled on your thigh, slowly snaking its way upwards as he leaned in to touch his lips against your neck before he sat, ordering another drink as he kept his other hand on your inner thigh, the mood between you shifting, “But….if you feel the need to be punished…” Rafael trailed off, his face full of the usual smirk you were used to. You gave a small chuckle into your drink, feeling Raf squeeze your thigh before removing his hand.

“You owe me a couple of drinks at the very least counsellor” You smirked back yourself, “I believe we had dinner plans tonight.” Rafael paused briefly, looking over at you softly before speaking gently.

“We’ve been in court all day, when was the last time you ate?” You rolled your eyes, taking another swig of your drink.

“I had breakfast.” Barba sighed, of course you hadn’t eaten, the stress of the trial was a lot for the both of you and with the way you were going at the drinks, he’d have to carry you out of here. Not having that on his to do list, and wanting to keep you as safe and healthy as he could, he waved the bartender over when they had a minute, 

“Can we get an order of wings, potato skins, and the nachos please?” He ordered quickly before you had the chance to change anything; the bartender nodded, adding the food to your tab. Nutrition wasn’t on his mind, getting food into both of your stomachs was his goal.

“Raf….I’m fine, really.”

“Well I’ve been in court all day too I feel like we could both need something to eat.” 

An hour later the two of you had ate the food, and paid the bill, finishing off the remnants of your last drinks.

“Hey” you started gently, “I’ve got more whiskey at home, if you want a little more privacy…” You whispered.

“Cariño, that sounds perfect.” After a quick glance around the bar, he leaned in, slowly kissing you, nipping at your bottom lip as you pulled apart. You thanked the bartender, before practically running out the door on Rafael’s heels. Your house was close and it wasn’t long until you were in the elevator, his front pressed against your back, slowing grinding against your ass, you could feel the bulge pressing against you as you let out a gasp.

“Rafa…..”

“What? There’s no one in here” He nipped at your earlobe as the doors opened, the two of you practically falling through them, racing to get the door unlocked and inside. Shoes got kicked off, coats tossed over a chair in the corner, Rafael’s suit jacket, vest and tie were sent to join them before he started removing your clothing at rapid pace until you were down to just underwear. Rafael paused, gently holding your cheek, thumb stroking you. “Hermosa….I’m going to need your okay with this…..green means go, yellow means slow down and red means stop. No matter what, these are the rules.You say stop, and it’s done.” You pulled back, looking at him sincerely, searching his face for any change of the mind.

“Of course.” You breathed, “I trust you Papi” Rafael felt the blood shoot towards his groin, nudging your thighs up, making you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist as you moaned into his kiss, the feeling of your practically naked body agains his was torturous. He carried you to your bedroom, unclipping your bra as he tossed you down on the bed.

“God, Cariño, how are you this striking?” Raf mused before he kissed you, deep and passionately, his fingers trailing down your body, making you tingle, gasping as his hands slowly grasped your breasts, pinching the nipple, moving down your body to suck the other nipple into his mouth, biting lightly as you moaned deeply. He was quick to strip out of the rest of his clothing, sliding his belt out of its loops, leaving him in just his boxers. “Lie across my lap.” Rafael ordered, sitting himself on the edge of the bed, there was room for you to be on the bed, but now Barba was in complete control of you. You smiled at him as he gently caressed your ass cheeks, smoothing his hands across them, snapping the strap of your thong as he picked up his belt in the other hand, looping it through itself. “Tell me the *instant* you don’t want to, the last thing I want to do is hurt you sweetheart.”

“I promise I will” You replied, preparing for both pleasure and pain.

“How many do you think you deserve?” Rafael muttered, slowly caressing your lower body, “10?”

“Yes sir.” You muttered lightly against the bed, anticipating the spanks. 

“What colour?” 

“Green…” You whispered ready for everything Barba had to serve to you.

The first spank came down before you expected it, causing you to yelp lightly, Raf gently rubbed the spot the belt had had hit you, “Still good?” He muttered, softly rubbing against your body.

“Yes. Green, Papi.” Rafael lifted the belt up again, striking your ass again, you slowly counted, whimpering with pleasure, his favourite sound. You were amazed with how incredible things were feeling, you felt every spank with immense joy, you could practically feel your pussy soaking through the thin thong. As he hit 10 he tossed the belt aside, very gently rubbing the red cheeks with an open palm, trailing his other fingers up and down your spine as you came down from your high, you could feel his painfully hard cock straining against its confines. When your breathing had slowed closer to normal, he pulled you up into his lap, rubbing up your sides he cupped your cheeks, kissing your lips lightly.

“You still trust me?” Rafael asked, pushing a link of hair behind your ear. You smiled gently, kissing him again, smiling against his lips. 

“Of course” You breathed before your lips attached to his, caressing slowly, your hands floating into his hair, pulling gently before Rafael flipped you over, he slowly started kissing down your body, enjoying the moans your mouth let out. He continued his pursuit, pushing your underwear off, letting his kisses slowly make their way up your legs. Before you knew it, he hit your clit, slowly sucking on it as if his life depended on it, a finger slowly tracing its way into your begging pussy, stretching you out. A second finger joined, curving together, hitting that sweet spot while his mouth had its way with you. Waiting until you were shaking with pleasure over it. You whimpered gently, Rafael barked a laugh at that.

“I really like that sound.” He murmured….”let me make you make it again…” He crooked his fingers again, basking in watching the orgasm flow through you before moving back up your body.

“Rafa….please” You begged, grasping your hands against his torso, scraping your nails down his body.

“So eager hermosa…”He purred against your neck, nipping at your earlobe gently. “You want me to fuck you sweetheart?”

“Yes! Please!” You begged, lifting your hips up, craving some kid of friction against him. He moved closer to you, and you could feel his thick cock against your body as he stroked it against your clit as you begged, pleading him. Rafael finally plunged himself into you, deeply, causing you both to heavily moan. His hips snapped back against yours setting into a hard, fast rhythm and the feeling was beyond amazing, you groaned heavily, your thighs shaking as you came around his cock, whimpering his name. A few more deep thrusts before you felt him come deep inside you, muttering Spanish into your ear. A few moments passed before he slowly slid out of you, pulling you into his side, and the blankets up around both of you, slowly stroking his hands up your bodies post orgasm. 

You were nearly drifting into sleep when you felt the bed dip beside you, the warmth of his body vanishing. Rafael started rustling around the room, when you heard the sound of his belt being done up, it was certain he wasn’t just taking a bathroom break.

“You planning on goin’ somewhere?” You murmured.

“Busy day tomorrow.” 

“You sure?” He sat down next to you, leaning over to give you a chaste kiss, he hated having to leave, especially after an evening like that, and a tough trial, but the two of you had made an agreement, one that he didn’t want to break. So, as resistant as it was, he needed to head home.

“I’ll see you soon Cariño.” Raf whispered, “Sleep tight.” And just like that, he was gone into the night. You grumbled hearing the door shut, throwing on an old shirt to pad through your apartment to lock it after him. He was right after all, sleepovers may not have been the best idea if you wanted to keep this out of the way of work, you both knew it.


	7. Chapter 7

It was nearly time for you to clock out, as you worked on a couple of case files, you weren’t surprised that just you and Benson remained in the office. She sighed heavily as she exited her office, heading to your desk.

“I hate to do this to you, but I need to get home to Noah, our sitter has another family to get to. Is there ANY way you can run these over to Barba, he’s gonna need them for Monday.” You glanced up at her, Noah was her first priority, and you had no problem with that.

“Yeah, of course.” She dropped a stack of files onto your desk.

“You can go in for OT, you’re here too much anyways.” She smiled before heading to the elevator. You sighed heavily, it’d been a hell of a long week, you’d made plans with some friends tonight but it wasn’t late yet, you’d have time to swing by the A.D.A’s office before getting ready. Realizing you were actually the last one in the office, (it seemed everyone took off early today) you closed your computer, grabbing a couple of files as you threw them into your bag, if Liv was gone, you may as well take the 10 minute advantage. 

The walk over to the A.D.A’s office was quicker than you’d thought, you were thankful for the warmer spring weather May had brought as you made your way to Rafael’s office. You found Carmen at her desk, greeting her friendly.

“Hey!” You smiled, she waved back but her next sentence stopped you before entering the office, especially since the door was wide open

“He’s not here.” She sighed.

“Seriously!?”

“Never came back after court, said he was gonna work from home tonight.” She shrugged.

“Meaning it was a bad day and his office scotch bottle was empty.”

“Exactly.” Carmen glanced up at you, continuing at her work.

You groaned leaving the office, a quick look at your watch and you knew you weren’t going to have time to change before heading out, maybe not even enough to drop off your gun, meaning you were babysitting tonight. Carmen said Rafael would be at home, but you didn’t want to trudge all the way there to have him be at the bar around the corner, so you had a few pit stops of no success before you found yourself at his apartment. Knocking heavily on his door you braced yourself, if he was still working this late and at home, things probably weren’t all sunshine and rainbows.

“What?” He snapped, throwing the door open before looking up to realize it was you, he sighed, “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” You brushed it off, besides, you’d expected the outburst, “Benson just wanted me to get these case files to you tonight.” You held them out in front of you, expecting him to take them.

“Of course”, he backed off, opening the door wider, “Come in, please” Rafael smiled gently, nodding his head towards the living room. You entered, surprised you were actually being invited in; even more surprising, was the mountain of case files covering the coffee table, rather than his home office. 

“I didn’t mean to intrude, but Carmen said you’d left early….” You trailed off, Raf gestured for your jacket, and you realized quickly your plans were changing for the night.

“There’s a first time for everything.” He smirked, hand on your lower back as he gently guided you into the open kitchen, quickly grabbing a rocks glass from the cupboard, refilling his and pouring an extra one, pushing the full glass towards you, “Here….drink…be happy for the weekend.” The two of you cheers-ed before heading to the couch, Rafael, turned back to his work as he tossed the remote over to you, pulling your legs into his lap, absentmindedly tracing his fingers up and down them. You knew he didn’t want to be bothered, but the remote and the drink clearly meant he didn’t want you to leave right away. You picked your most recent binge show and relaxed back into the couch, enjoying the scotch in front of you. Every so often he would inject himself into your show, a small chuckle here and there, or asking your opinion on things from the case then and again, double checking witness statements, as his body stayed in contact with yours the entire evening. Unbeknownst to you, Rafael would glance over to you every so often, catching the smiles or small laughs you gave to the tv, smiling to himself to see you relaxed and happy, his heart swelled to see how comfortable you were in his apartment, his hands tracing your body.

Halfway through an episode you felt Rafael squeeze your thigh, grabbing your attention, you realized all his case files were closed.

“Sorry,” You muttered, “ I’ll call a cab” You reluctantly swung your legs from his lap, standing up and stretching out your stiff joints, you didn’t notice him standing until you turned around to grab your phone and found him standing directly behind you. Rafael reached out, stroking your cheek gently.

“Stay.” He whispered. Your eyes shot up to his emerald green ones, looking for any kind of objection, they were softer than he’d ever looked at you before, your heart leaped into your chest, unsure of how to respond to his boldness.

“Are you sure?” You murmured back

“Yes.” His thumb softly caressed your cheek, “It’s been one hell of a week, I could use the company.” Barba hooked his fingers under your chin, bringing your lips to his as his hand moved to the back of your neck, you found yours wrapping around him tightly. You stayed in that blissful kiss for a minute, simply melting into each other, lost in the moment, when you finally did pull apart, Raf linked his hand in yours, leading you to his bedroom. 

It turned out the en suite had an extra, fresh toothbrush, and Rafael tossed a large t-shirt at you as he stripped down to his boxers, motioning for you to climb under the covers after you’d thrown the shirt on over just your panties. He pulled you tightly into his side kissing your forehead gently, he needed you there tonight the warmth of your body relaxed him, making him feel a hell of a lot better than when he’d left the office.

“Thank you Cariño.” Was the last thing you heard as you drifted off, feeling completely blissful and safe, not a care in the world, his arms wrapped around you felt like paradise, you were thankful he finally let you stay the night.

******************

The welcoming aroma of coffee brought you out of your slumber the next morning, warm rays of sun shone through the apartment, basking it in a golden glow. You stretched slowly, waking up your body before padding out to the kitchen finding Rafael at the island, coffee in one hand, newspaper spread out in front of him you wrapped your arms around him, placing a small kiss on his shoulder. Turning in your arms, he looped one of his around your waist, pulling your body into his, kissing your cheek.

“Good morning beautiful.” Raf leaned in, smiling against your lips as he pecked your lips.

“Morning.”

“How’d you sleep?” 

“Really good actually.” You softly pulled away, heading to the coffee pot, pouring yourself a mug before returning to his side. “Must help having a sexy man sharing the bed.” 

“Mmm…an added bonus I’m sure.” His hand traced its way over your ass, spanking lightly, his fingers then toying with the waist of your underwear. “I was thinking about breakfast…” Barba murmured into your ear, laying a kiss underneath it before nipping at your earlobe, “but I’m pretty sure I found something I want more.” You set your coffee aside as his lips made their way down your neck, stopping at the junction of your shoulder, biting down softly, you gasped, turning to face him completely as he stood. Lips crashed against yours, claiming dominance immediately, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling your bodies as close together as they could get, Raf’s hands trailed their way up your sides, sneaking under the borrowed shirt, cupping your breasts, squeezing, circling his thumbs on your nipples, making them peak. His fingers pinched, pulling at them as you gasped into the kiss, arching into his touch, this man certainly had discovered everything that made you tick, and it drove you insane. 

You rolled your hips against his, feeling the growing bulge through the thin pants he had on, your hands twisting into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to you. He left one hand rolling and pinching at your chest while the other glided down your stomach, pulling your panties to the side, using a feather light touch to swipe through your folds, you let out a whimper, making him chuckle darkly. They found their way up to your clit, circling a few times before a finger ventured downward, entering you, slowly pumping in and out before another joined it, stretching you out. 

“Rafa..” You gasped, grasping the fabric of his shirt in your hands, not sure if you could hold yourself up on your shaky legs much longer. He smirked at you, kissing you as he backed you up towards the table, hoisting you up onto it, pulling off your panties before releasing himself from his pants.

“Ready Cariño?” He asked, running the tip of his cock through your folds, god the teasing thing was just too much sometimes.

“Yes!” Was all he needed before he plunged into you, barely giving you time to react before he was thrusting in and out at a fast, deep pace. Your arms gripped him tightly, pulling him close to you, clinging to his upright body as you moaned into his ear, heeding him on even more. Rafael softly pushed you down flat on the table, pinning your hips down as he rutted into you, both of you so lost in the moment, lost in each other that you missed the soft knocking on the door, and definitely didn’t hear the door opening.

“Raf I…..Y/L/N?!” That, you definitely heard, you yelped, pushing your body up to sitting as Raf quickly pulled out and managed to tuck himself back into his pants so smoothly it was hardly noticeable. You were incredibly thankful you were at least semi clothed.

“Fuck.” You muttered, “Benson, I can….shit.” You shook your head, there was literally no way of getting out of this one.

“I came to drop this off.” Olivia dropped a folder onto the stand by the door, her expression was hard to read, the Sergeant side of her was obviously mad, but the part of her that was friends with both of you was amused. “Y/L/N, I expect you in my office 9 a.m. sharp on Monday.”

“Yes Sarge.” She was gone before Barba could say anything. “Fuck….” You hung your head onto Rafael’s shoulder, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, Liv’s been in the same spot you are.” You quirked an eyebrow at him, a strong doubt on your face “Well…not exactly but, she’s dated within the NYPD and not disclosed, remember she wasn’t always in charge.” You hopped off the table, kissing Raf on the cheek gently.

“I should go, get some roaming of the city done before I’m trapped on desk duty for eternity.” Rafael watched you with gentle eyes as you collected your clothes, redressing, kissing you lightly before you left the apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

You were dreading Monday, the entire weekend has been wasted on you anxiously awaiting your meeting with Olivia, you and Rafael _*technically*_ didn’t work in the same department, but considering the closeness of your positions, it could definitely still be a problem, especially on your end. You made sure you were up as early as you could be, giving yourself ample time to get to the squad room on Monday, not surprised when you found yourself the only detective there. Liv’s door was open when you got there, you dropped your bag on your desk, amping yourself up one last time before gently knocking on the door.

“Y/L/N….You’re early.” Her voice was surprisingly gentle as she greeted you, gesturing to the chairs in front of her desk. You tried not to look so ashamed as you took your spot in the office.

“Sergeant, I’m really sorry about this obviously it’s not how we wanted anyone to find out it’s kinda just a giant mess at this point and I mean I don’t really…” She held up her hand, signalling you to stop the rambling panic you were clearly feeling.

“How long has this been going on?” She calmly asked, you hesitated, knowing it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

“August….Langan’s party…” You muttered, “He offered to walk me home, one thing kinda led to another…” You could barely look up from your hands, Olivia may have been a personal friend of yours, but right now all you could feel was the fact that she was your boss.

“That was nearly NINE months ago?! You had more than enough time to disclose.” You opened your mouth to reply, then closed it, confused at just about everything, looking up you found your friend Olivia looking back at you, eyebrow cocked, waiting for your response.

“It’s…it’s kinda hard to disclose when you don’t exactly know what it is you’re disclosing…” Your head hung, ashamed that something that was supposed to not only be private, but strictly friends with benefits had been exposed to your boss, and potentially your entire squad. You hated having to admit you’d fallen for the A.D.A. those calls over the holidays hadn’t helped, whether it was him being friendly or you overthinking things, you’d fallen, hard. 

“Hey… Y/N..” Olivia spoke softly, “It’s okay, there’s not a whole lot I can do about a detective and an A.D.A. together, but I’m putting the paperwork in. Lawyers don’t have to recuse themselves from personal cases, but this is going to affect the number of cases you can take lead on, or any you end up having to take the stand.” She paused, “Hell, you’re lucky Buchanan hadn’t somehow found out and wiped the floor with you, it could have gotten the entire case thrown out.” That was definitely the truth, the man was harrowing when it came to trial, “AND, I will definitely be keeping an eye on how much time you’re spending at the D.A’s office from now on.”

“Thank you Sarge.” You quietly replied.

“Oh…and you’re definitely on desk duty for the next two weeks.”

“Of course” You breathed out, “Makes sense.” You looked back up and Olivia had a smirk in her eyes, you cocked an eyebrow, questioning the smirk.

“The kitchen table really??” You let out a barking laugh, knowing that your lecture was over and your friend was back.

“It was the first time!” You protested, “Besides, you ever hear of KNOCKING?!” Benson let out a laugh as the two of you realized how ridiculous this situation was, outside of the work relation.

“Okay, I forgive you, now get back to work.” She nodded towards the squad room, 

“Ugh.” You roll your eyes as you stood, “I will.” You give your sergeant a soft smile before exiting into the squad room, happy your news was at least somewhat private for the meantime.


	9. Chapter 9

It was late June, Rafael and you had both privately talked your your own bosses, promising that if things started to get in the way of cases you’d recuse yourselves, and you’d been spending a little more time together, but still nothing too public. The problem being you were both too goddamn stubborn to be the first one to admit you had real feelings, so you simply continued doing what you’d been doing, continuing to refer to it as friends with benefits, much to the annoyance of Benson, who rolled her eyes every time it was mentioned.

Tonight happened to be Olivia’s birthday, and most of the squad (and friends) were meeting up at your regular spot for drinks and celebrations. You’d worked the morning shift, having time to get home and change before the celebrations. New York wasn’t as warm as you’d hoped tonight, so you opted for a pair of skinny jeans tucked into heeled boots, a dress styled tank top, you threw a blazer over top at the last minute, trying not to run late. 

Arriving at the bar seemed almost exactly like the summer, the air hung heavy with joy, tipsy-ness, and friends brought together in celebration. This time though, you felt a warmth in your chest as Rafael turned around at the bar, smiling, a second glass of scotch in his hand for you, which you accepted gratefully. He felt his heart flutter as he saw you smiling back to him, his entire being wanted to pull you into an unforgiving kiss, but he knew the squad was in the room, and didn’t want to take a risk.

“Thank you Rafa” You hum gently, discreetly squeezing his arm, taking a swig of the drink in front of you, luckily, everyone else seemed occupied with Olivia as the two of you make your way over to the tables of detectives and friends. You both gave your best wishes, and mingled through the crowds, managing to be within eyeshot, but nonetheless splitting amongst the crowds. 

As the night wore on, a few of the outer squad members started to say their goodnights, Liv and Rafael were at a small table against the wall, happy to be spending time with their oldest friends, while you had ended up up at the bar with Carisi, completely unaware of the eyes glued to you as you laughed heartily at something Sonny had said. Olivia couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, he may have been distracted but at least he’d still been actively listening to what she had been saying.

“When’re you planning on telling her?” She murmured into her wine. Barba turned to her, confusion on his face.

“Telling her what exactly?” Cue the eye-roll. 

“Raf, you clearly care about her, a lot.” She took a swig, “And last time I checked, she felt the same.”

“Oh please” He bantered back, “Look at her…she’s….”He trailed off, watching you, tracing the curves of your body with his eyes, remembering all the intimate moments you’d spent together, feeling a burn in the pit of his stomach as you gave Carisi a playful punch on the arm. You and Sonny did spend a lot of time together, but it was because you were partners, and that man was more than willing to help anyone out when they needed it, especially when he thought you didn’t have anyone in the city. A twinge of jealousy hit him, was there something more going on between you? Rafael took another large swig of his drink, trying to drown the feelings with the scotch.

“You clearly haven’t seen the way her eyes light up whenever your name comes up….or the way she stares at you in court.” She smirked, raising an eyebrow at the A.D.A. He let out a breath himself, “You know, when I had the meeting with her about disclosing…she seemed to really care about you, and Rafa…I know you, you need to talk to her.” He paused gently, swirling his drink, trying to sort out the thoughts swirling through his head.

“I will.” He took the final swig, finishing the last of his scotch before glancing to Olivia as she gave him the nod of approval, “Happy Birthday Liv.” Barba squeezed her arm affectionately before grabbing his coat, heading up to the bar. Carisi was looking a bit too close for comfort by now, in the prevention of someone causing a scene, Olivia called out to the detective, waving him over to the table. She kept his attention occupied as she watched you beam towards Rafael, he stroked your face gently, clearing asking if you were ready to go since your next move was to grab your blazer. You gave a glance and a smile over to Olivia, mouthing “Happy Birthday,” as the two of you snuck out of the bar into the New York night air.


	10. Chapter 10

It was just after lunch and to say it had been a pretty shitty day was to say the least. You were trapped at your desk, attempting to work out a new case as Carisi worked the same one across from you, the pain in your side subsiding slowly as the Tylenol made its way into your system. It’d only been a few weeks since the Olivia’s birthday. When the day started off, you’d been heading to talk to a suspect with Sonny, and then make a beeline for the D.A’s office with substantial evidence to grant a warrant. That had been almost 5 hours ago, and when Rafael got impatient, it was only natural he would show up at he precinct, annoyed at the incompetency of the NYPD yet again.

You and Sonny were heavily buried in paperwork, case files spread across your desks, frequently passed back and fourth with notes attached as you would move onto a different piece of evidence, neither of you noticed your guest in the squad room.

“I believe I was supposed to have a detective at my office by now?” His voice caused you to jump, then wince lightly, looking up, the man was not happy, and even less so now that he’d had to waste his time coming down to the squad. Carisi, fired up and not impressed either, shot back before you had a chance to even open your mouth.

“We’re all a little busy counsellor.” He gestured to the covered desks in front of him, Barba scoffed, rolling his eyes before glancing at you.

“Y/L/N, you’re coming with me.” He turned, starting to leave the squad room,

“Nope.” You proclaimed, watching Raf come to a harsh halt, stalking back towards you while you gestured in front of you “….Desk duty…”

“What have you done this time?” You scoffed, more than offended with his harsh attitude, before you could call him on it, Fin called out from across the room.

“She got shot.”

“Excuse me?!” The Cuban in front of you was clearly not okay with this, his heart jumping into his chest, you’d been hurt, and he didn’t know how badly, it nearly felt like he could throw up, you, however, rolled your eyes.

“Barba, calm down.” 

“You expect me to calm down?” He nearly shouted, Carisi immediately jumped into action across from you.

“Hey! Leave her alone!”

“Why do you care so much?!” You retorted.

“I think the A.D.A. deserves to know if an NYPD officer gets shot by a perp, kind of important to the case detective!” His voice was stern, he wasn’t happy. Sonny sighed heavily from across from you, speaking before you had a chance,

“It wasn’t a perp…”He was quiet, he may not have known your history with Barba but he was already admitting defeat, “She’s not the only one on desk duty,”

“You’re telling me you’re that bad of a shot?” Barba looked like he might kill your partner, you gave his hip a swift hit, 

“HEY!” Rafael looked down at you, “The bullet ricocheted, and I was in the line of fire. It wasn’t his fault.” You took a breath, glancing at the way Rafael looked down at you, “It just grazed me, paramedics treated me at the scene.”

“You didn’t bother to call?” He was always so quick witted it felt like the entire conversation was on fast forward.

“And this matters why?” Fin cut in again, as Barba exploded,

“Because I think if my girlfriend gets shot I think I deserve the right to know!”

The squad room fell silent, you could feel Olivia’s sly smile from across the room, you glanced up at Rafael, eyebrow cocked.

 _“Girlfriend?”_ You mouthed, not even needing to look across at Sonny before you chucked a paperweight at him.

“Personal relations aside…”Benson glanced in your direction, “We need everyone on this case…” Before she headed into a conference room, the squad slowly following her.

“I swear to god Sonny….” You could feel his eyes burning into you with that dopey smile on his lips as he followed Olivia as you pushed your chair back, wincing in pain as you stood up, Rafael’s hands were floating around your sides before you could even imagine, wanting to caress you without causing you any pain. You leaned back against your desk as you looked at him, smiling gently.

“Are you sure you’re okay mi amor?” He gently asked, you smiled back at him.

“Yes…do you really feel that way?” You gaze was hesitant, you knew he cared about you, but you weren’t sure where you stood. Rafael’s hand floated up, stroking your cheek.

“Of course.” He smiled at you kissing you gently, you smiled back at him, incredibly happy. You didn’t notice Fin’s head pop around the corner,

“Hey! Lovebirds, Liv still needs you in here!” He called from the conference room, you both laughed gently before joining them, Rafaela hand guiding your lower back the entire way.


	11. Chapter 11

Rafael stood behind his desk, suit jacket off, sleeves rolled up, talking over an unfolding case with Rollins, Fin, and Carisi, wondering why the latter was without his partner.

“Carisi, why’s your partner not here?” He questioned nonchalantly.

“She’s comin’” Sonny briefly checked his phone, “Said she passed off the perp to Liv, was on her way 5 minutes ago.” As if like clockwork, the door to the office flung open, you bustled in, slightly out of breath.

“Sorry I’m late.” You quickly started, “This building has way too many stairs for shoes like this.” Carisi smirked, having casually left out the fact that Liv had sent you undercover briefly, trying to catch a perp who’d been abducting working girls, he watched the expression on Barba’s face change, as his eyes raked over your body. 

Your NYPD jacket hung from your frame, completely able to cover the smallest thing you could call a dress, with a neckline that made Sonny feel like he needed to go directly to church after this. Your badge was pinned to the top, pressing into your chest, and you certainly were right about the shoes…A pair of red fuck me stilettos weren’t made for so many stairs. Amanda broke the brief silence as you tossed a file onto Rafael’s desk.

“Do I even _want_ to know where your gun is?” You let out a laugh.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” You laughed gently, “The perp was exactly where and who we wanted, we got as many girls and John’s as we could, Liv needs help at the station, there’s a lot to go through, she asked for us back a.s.a.p.” Fin nodded, taking the lead on leaving the office, followed by the others, just before you and Carisi hit the doorframe, Barba stopped you.

“Y/L/N, I’m gonna need to go over this with you.” He held up the case file, Sonny raised a brow briefly, “I just need to make sure everything undercover was by the book.” You nodded to your partner, Rafael watched him leave before double checking that Carmen was indeed at lunch, shutting and locking the door. 

“Did you happen to own this dress before or did the department buy it for you.”

“You think the department has the money for that?” You laughed, tossing the NYPD jacket onto the couch “Raf, I’ve done so many UC cases, half my tax returns are clothes.”

“You should wear them more often.” 

It was your turn to smirk as Rafael brought his lips to yours hungrily, devouring you in a kiss he’d been dying for the second you walked into his office, hands grasping at your hips, one snuck its way around to cup your ass, giving you a swift spank causing you to moan into the kiss. His lips broke free of yours to chase their way down your neck, biting that sweet spot, your quiet moans went straight to the growing bulge in his pants. He rolled his hips against you hard, seeking any sort of friction, before he pulled his lips off you.

“On your knees.” It was nearly more of an order than a request, and you were more than happy to oblige. Rafael had his belt undone in a fraction of a second, groaning as you took him out of his pants, there was no time for teasing today. You felt his weight on your palm, closing around his cock, giving him a few pumps before your mouth began its assault. Licking from his balls to tip, you swirled your tongue around him before taking all of his cock into your mouth. Raf moaned heavily, swearing under his breath as you bobbed up and down, his hand gripping tightly in your hair. One of your hands found its way to his balls, massaging gently, watching Rafael come undone so easily when he’d just been in full lawyer mode was utterly arousing, and knowing that you could do it with just your mouth was even better. You looked up at him through your lashes, smirking around his cock, catching his eye before you took all of it into your throat, moaning deeply as you did. “Fuck.” He swore, pulling you up off your knees, catching you in a deep kiss, “You drive me insane, you know that?”

“Si, Papi.” You whispered against his lips, he nipped at you before turning you around, bending you against his desk as he hiked up your dress. Pushing your underwear aside, he swiped through your folds quickly with his fingers, not surprised to find you ready. You gasped as he plunged into your cunt, thrusting relentlessly, your hips digging into the desk, a spank came down onto your ass as his other hand gripped your hair into a ponytail, pulling at the roots. 

“Rafa!” You whined as his thrusts continued, the warmth pooling in you, you knew you weren’t going to last, the noises coming from behind you spurred you on, you squeezed around him, the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls was almost unbearable. A strangled moan came from Rafael’s mouth, he leaned his body over yours, continuing to fuck you into the desk, his teeth found their way to your neck at the same time his hand found its way to your clit, circling around it hard and fast. Your legs shook as you let out a cry, squirting around his cock, dribbling down your thighs, a few more heavy thrusts and Raf released inside you, collapsing over your body. As you started to catch your breath, he gently kissed across your back, pulling out gently, helping you up to turn to face him, leaning against the desk.

“That was new.” A sly smile splayed across his face and you laughed.

“Sure was…” Rafael caressed your side, pulling your body into his, kissing you gently, you could feel the adoration floating off him as you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, the warmth from his body making you not want to pull away.

“Dinner tonight?” A kiss left in your hair before you softly removed your body from his.

“Sounds wonderful.” You left a soft kiss on his cheek before moving over to the couch to grab your jacket, “And if a dress leads to that-“ You gestured to the damp spot on his desk “-maybe a fashion show of my closet after.” Barba laughed, watching the way you moved out of his office, throwing him a wink before you left.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been another month, the summer in New York making you thankful for the warmer weather. Rafael had slowly been leaving more things at your apartment, spending more and more time there, and that, you were definitely okay with. 

Then it happened, you were the last one in the office when a domestic violence call came in, a quick text to Carisi with details and you headed out. A squad car was already parked out front when you arrived, so without thinking, you entered the brownstone, announcing that it was NYPD. You hadn’t expected to find a gun pointed at you, and you certainly hadn’t expected to have to give up your own. You tried your best to talk the perp out of it, of letting everyone just walk out of there, your heart pounding in your chest as the gun turned towards you.

The uniformed officer had made a call in before entering the house, it wasn’t long until back up was there, including Olivia and Sonny. The minor details had been passed along, ESU was setting up, and the perp wasn’t backing down. Adrenaline was coursing through your body, keeping your senses heighten and on edge, working SVU had you shift to focussing on victims, shoving your instincts on situations like this to the back burner. Your brain was scrambling, trying to think clearly, while the uni was talking, and all it could focus on was Rafael. You prayed this wouldn’t end as badly as it could. 

******  
Carisi had made the call, realizing that it was only fair to at least have Barba there when you came out, he hadn’t said anything, just gave him the address and to get there. 

“Anyone care to explain why you needed me out here before you even have a statement?” Rafael wasn’t impressed with being called halfway across town at the end of the day, especially on date night.

Olivia turned to him, a soft expression on her face, “We didn’t call you as the A.D.A…Y/N’s inside, perp was armed when she got there, she surrendered her weapon.” He went from annoyed to deeply concerned in a matter of seconds, feeling the colour draining from his face while trying to maintain composure, it had been nearly a year that you’d been involved, and he may have been holding back his emotions, he was absolutely terrified at the thought of something happening to you.

“You do have a plan to get her out of there safely?” Carisi could hear the ever so light shake in his voice.

“We’re workin’ on it.” An eye roll for a response, “Hey…she’s gonna be fine.”

“You don’t know that” Rafael muttered, Olivia gave him a sympathetic smile, squeezing his arm gently before turning back to the ESU team, figuring out their game plan.

Barely a moment had passed before shots rang out from inside, ESU, Liv and Sonny sprang into action and Rafael felt sick to his stomach, the bile piling in his throat as the scene unfolded in front of him, blood pounded in his ears. Officers were coming back out of the door, a woman with them, followed by the uni who’d been first on the scene. Trails of red speckled across their clothes. Raf could feel his eyes starting to swell with tears, doing everything he could to keep from running into the building himself. It was then that Liv came out, guiding a young boy over to his mother, behind her Carisi was at your side, a small girl in your arms, your shirt stained with blood. You looked shaky, frazzled, leaning on Carisi for support.

“Y/n!” He yelled, your face shot up, passing the girl off to Sonny, you quickly made your way over to him, “Oh my god.” He muttered quietly, reaching out for you.

“It’s not mine, I’m fine.” You shot out as soon as you were within ear shot, Barba made to pull you into him and you stopped him, “I’m covered in blood, I don’t wanna ruin your suit.”

Rafael laughed gently, “I don’t care.” He pulled you into the deepest hug you’d ever felt, you felt safe, you felt loved, you felt everything you hadn’t felt before. “All I care about right now is that you’re okay, that you’re alive Hermosa” Rafael stroked your hair gently with one hand as he pulled you tightly to him with the other, his heart still hammered in his chest, the thought of losing you was too much, you did your best to hold the tears in, the ones threatening to spill onto his chest.

After relaying your statements of what happened inside, talking with the people you needed to talk to, and a brief check up by a paramedic that Rafael insisted upon, Olivia sent you home. You were visibly shaken, sure, you faced dangerous situations pretty regularly, and were used to witnessing pretty horrible crimes, but it had been a while since you’d had a gun to your head. Squeezing Barba’s arm gently, you headed to the shower, being covered in someone else’s blood was never an ideal situation. The heat of the water streaming over you helped your body slowly relax as the crimson swirled down the drain, slowly scrubbing your body clean of the physical memories of the day. You took your time washing your hair and drying off while Rafael stewed in the kitchen, he’d poured himself a glass of scotch, not sure what else to even do at the moment. His head shot up when you padded back into the living room, clad in a pair of sweats and one of his old Harvard shirts, tears seemed to be swimming in your eyes.

“Drink?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper, you shook your head,

“Just you please.” He shot over to the couch, sitting with his back against the arm, pulling you into his chest, he could feel the vibrations of your body as you tried to hold back the tears, snuggling deep into his embrace. You let out a shudder of a whisper into his neck, “I love you…” Rafael’s heart both soared and shattered at your admission, he knew it came from a place of truth, a place of trust, but also a place where you realized you might not have gotten the chance to ever say it. He placed a kiss to the top of your hair, squeezing his arms tighter around you.

“I love you too.” Your body relaxed at his reply, the tension slowly leaking out, knowing that you were safe, and you were right where you belonged.


	13. Chapter 13

It had been about a month since you and Rafael had finally admitted your true feelings to each other, you’d had the discussion about how much time he was spending at your apartment, agreeing that it made sense to actually move in together. Some might say it was a little fast, but it had been nearly a year since the first time you’d slept together. Your place was rent controlled and closer to both of your jobs, and, despite Rafael being a lawyer, he still didn’t know how you afforded such an incredible place on NYPD’s salary. Since the squad finally knew about the two of you, you were able to be affectionate at work gatherings, and Barba would do anything to have his hands on you as often as he could. Anytime he stopped by the squad room he’d have an extra cup of coffee, he naturally drifted towards you, usually finding spot to lean on your desk, always making sure to give you a chaste kiss on the forehead or cheek before he left.

Tonight, Rafael was posed on the couch, reworking his opening statement for what you were pretty sure was the millionth time that evening, you watched him from the kitchen, scribbling out the last bit he’d written, tossing the pad down as he ran his hands over his face. You shook your head gently, wiping your hands on the dish towel before you grabbed the pre poured glass of scotch, approaching behind the couch, wrapping your arms around him to offer him the glass. He took it, muttering a gentle _thank you_ before taking a generous gulp, you placed a kiss to his head, rubbing his chest reassuringly.

“You can’t figure that out tomorrow?” You murmured into his hair, gently pressing another kiss against him. “You need to relax mi amor.” Your hands traced their way up to the junction between his neck & shoulders, kneading your thumbs into the knots you knew you’d find, slowly working them apart. Rafael groaned softly, relaxing back against the couch, your nails gently scratched against his neck into his hair, his head fell back, green eyes glancing up at you over the back of the couch. You leant forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You know….there are other ways to let off some steam.” Raf smirked at you, moving to pile up the papers on the coffee table as he stood, moving around the couch.

“And what exactly do you have in mind Cariño?” He murmured, his lips ghosting over yours.

“I think you know exactly what Counsellor.” You planted a kiss on his lips, hungry, relentless, but let him take control the second your lips touched. His hands hit your hips, pushing you back towards the bedroom, only stopping when your legs hit the bed. Rafael pulled away gently, stroking a lock of loose hair behind your ear, making you smile, leaning into his hand as it cupped your cheek, kissing his thumb. “I’m all yours Rafi…” You breathed, giving him all the consent he needed.

You and Rafael quickly stripped each other of your clothes until you were naked against each other, falling back onto the bed as he loomed over you, his mouth nipping at your neck, your moans vibrating through the room. Your hands pulled at his hair, whimpering underneath his touch, it had been too long, Raf swiped through your folds, then immediately froze, glancing up at you, a questioning look on his face.

“You sure?” 

“Yes.” You breathed, “Rafi please…” You glanced down at the eyes looking up at you, realizing his concern, but sometimes, biology just didn’t want to cooperate “There’s lube in bedside table.” He leaned forward on his knees, puling the drawer open, he stopped briefly, smirking at you as he looked at the container of toys he found in front of him, slyly pulling a butt plug out from it, glancing over at you.

“I never would have guessed….” The usual grin plastered upon his face as he held the toy up for you to see. You giggled lightly.

“Win the Richardson case and you can use it on me.” You smirked back.

“Deal.” Rafael tossed the toy back into the drawer, squeezing the lube into his hand, tracing his hand through your folds before wrapping a coated hand around his cock. Throwing the bottle aside he teased the tip of himself through your folds, hearing your breathy gasp as it hit your clit before sliding into you, moaning deeply as he buried his head into your neck, nipping gently. He started a steady but brutal pace against your hips, your arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer to you, your hands scratching at his back, burying themselves into his hair.

“Rafa…” You breathed as he groped at your chest, peeling his mouth from yours to wrap around the other nipple, tongue circling around your tip, teeth slowly and gently pulling it away from your body, you moaned heavily, your body arching up towards him as the thrusts into you became harder, making you whimper, moaning into his neck, he could feel you clenching around him. His hand snuck down, hitting your clit, it was a mere matter of seconds before you spasmed underneath him, hand clenched to his bicep. He could feel you squeezing around him, the look on your face more than enough to make him cum nearly on the spot as he thrusted into you.

As you gained your breath back, he pulled out of you, collapsing on the bed beside you, a couple of deep breaths before you curled into his side, kissing his neck gently. His arms found their way around your body, one linking with the one you had across his chest, one tracing up and down your curves his lips softly kissed the top of your head.

“I love you.” He murmured into your hair, you kissed his chest in response, stroking his hand with your thumb.

“I love you too Rafa."


	14. Chapter 14

Rafael was absolutely buried in casework, still at his desk, wishing he was anywhere but, Carmen was long from gone for the weekend, but the silence helped him work. A few hours passed until he heard a pair of heels making their way towards his door, despite the late hour, you still knocked on the jam as you entered. He took in your appearance, a blue cocktail dress, draped across your shoulders, ending above your knees, feet in a pair of gold heels, your hair curled neatly around your shoulders, he felt a warmth of love spread through his chest.

“You headed undercover tonight or you got a hot date?” He joked, turning his attention back to the case files. You dropped yourself down into one of the chairs in front of his desk, throwing your legs over opposite arm of the chair, sighing.

“Well, I thought I had a hot date…” You tossed a pair of Broadway tickets onto his desk, watching as he glanced down at the tickets, registering what was in front of him before the colour drained from his face. His heart dropped in his chest, all he wanted was to make you feel happy, for everything, and as of right now he’d screwed up.

“Shit” He muttered, running his hands over his face ”I’m so sorry Carino….” You interrupted him from your chair

“Hey, I know what cases your working on right now.” You gave him a small smile, “You’ve got a lot on your plate, and if you don’t have Carmen put something in your calendar, you’d never remember it,” His heart glowed, with anyone else there would’ve been a confrontation, angry words, maybe even a night in the office, but you simply understood. You smiled, pulling a bag up onto his desk, “Ordered your favourite.” You winked, pulling a container out onto his desk.

“I stand you up and you bring me dinner? What on earth did I do to deserve you?” Rafael dug into the containers you’d brought him, you pulled the legal pad he’d been working on towards you, reading it over and making some of your own notes and edits. 

“Carino.. I am SO sorry.” He started, you waved a hand at his admission.

“Apology accepted. This wasn’t the first time one of us has had to skip out on a date, and I doubt it’ll be the last.” You’d barely gotten the sentence out of your mouth when your phone went off, sighing, you answered it, “Y/L/N.” A brief pause, “Yeah I’ll be there in 15.” Rafael stood at the same time as you, walking around the desk, pulling you into his arms, softly kissing you.

“Thank you.” He muttered into your hair, you pulled back, kissing his cheek gently.

“I’m guessing I won’t be home anytime soon,” You squeezed his hand, making the retreat out of his office, “But that doesn’t give you an excuse to work too late!” He chuckled at that, watching you leave the doorway, smiling happily at him. It may have been a struggle to squeeze in real dates with both of your schedules, but at least you both understood each other, and knew that despite your feelings, the job, helping people, was the main priority.


	15. Chapter 15

September rolled around and you finally had a Friday night off that Amanda had a sitter for, despite the idea of going out, you were much more a homebody, and the two of you ended up sprawled out on your couch, legs practically intertwined, watching cheesy reality television as you tossed back glasses of wine. You were both laughing heavily, snacking on the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, you’d started with a “documentary” about big cats when you ate dinner, dying of laughter as you’d watched the insane show. Amanda had more experience with the reality tv group, managing to stream some “Four Weddings”, a show where 4 brides went to each others weddings, and attended each other’s parties, before judging each other on some categories. You were both laughing heavily at some crazy bridezilla’s when you heard the door to your apartment open.

“Hi, Rafa.” You greeted cheerfully over the back of the couch, smiling brightly at Rafael as he hung up his coat, walking towards you.

“You two seem to be having fun.” He smirked, giving you a kiss on the forehead, leant over the back of the couch.

“Hey! Live a little!” You defended, “There’s leftovers in the fridge.” Stroking his cheek gently, he kissed your palm, giving you & Amanda a soft smile before retreating to the kitchen, you returned your attention to the tv as you heard the fridge open behind you. Rafael took this time to turn on his bat hearing, the two blondes in the living room were unaware that the volume of their chatter could be heard. He was happy to see the two of you in such high spirits, your jobs took such a toll that moments like this were far & in between. Things had been increasingly busy recently, Fin was undercover, Sonny was out with a nasty flu, the shortage of detectives meant more doubles, overnights and back to backs in the squad room. Rafael was nearly drowning in cases of his own, and still felt horrible about accidentally standing you up those weeks back. He was thankful that you at least now lived together, able to crawl into bed in the wee hours of the night, curl up against him for a few hours before he had to head into the office. It made his heart sink in worry that you might not realize just how much he loved you, there were still moments you’d knock on his door to get a warrant and butterflies would take over his stomach, a spark when your hands brushed, he gazed into the living room adoringly, lost in the moment before Rollins broke into his thoughts.

“Oh my god! That dress!” Amanda shrieked, you laughed heartily,

“Please! The location? Who actually cares about open beams covered in fairy lights?!” You snorted, “And those bridesmaids dresses, WHY would you make your best friends wear that shit, I’d never make you wear that!”

“I’m stuck in your bridesmaids party?” Amanda looked over at your, you’d been on and off partners for a year, it made sense, she honestly was one of your best friends, you both curled over in a laughing fit. 

“Please, as if I’m getting married.” You muttered, laughing off the self insult, the conversation of marriage had never come up with you and Barba, you figured you were both already married to your jobs, especially recently. As Amanda cracked another joke, you both laughed your way through it, missing the comment from the kitchen, 

“I’d marry you in a fucking heartbeat…” Rafael murmered, your head turned towards the kitchen,

“Raf? You say something?” His eyes caught yours, warm, full of love, he smiled softly at you.

“Nothing miha.” He came around the island kissing you gently “Enjoy your girls night.” He gave a smile to Amanda before retreating further into the apartment.

**

A few hours later, Rollins was in a cab, and you were crawling into bed with an already asleep Rafael, curling up against him, you could hear his steady breathing as you wrapped your arm around him, burying your face in his neck, softly kissing it. He shifted slightly in his sleep, pulling him deeper into his arms, subconsciously smitten to have you in bed with him for another night.


	16. Chapter 16

You’d made a promise to Rafael, if he won the Richardson case, you’d get to have some extra and new playtime you hadn’t breached with him yet. You weren’t in court today, apparently having major faith in the case, the head juror announced guilty and Barba smirked, gathering up his files. He gave a nod to Liv and the other detectives before leaving the courthouse to head home, your previous promise hung over him, he hoped your absence in court meant you were ready for him.

“Mi amor?” He called out, shedding. his suit jacket and vest, tossing them over a chair as he started to undo his tie.

“Yes Papi?” He heard your soft voice call back from the bedroom as his tie and dress shirt hit the floor. He pushed the door open, taking in a hitched breath as he saw you, perched on the bed in a set of royal blue lingerie, lace covered, your doe eyes filled with lust as you drank in his form.

“Jesus Hermosa..” His eyes raked your body, slipping off his pants, leaving both of you in just your underwear, you didn’t give up eye contact as you ran your hands up you body, biting your lip, moaning as you groped your breasts, pinching your nipples. Rafael could practically feel the blood flowing south. 

“You won the case Counsellor, we made a deal, didn’t we?” You gestured to the bed, a few plugs and bottle of lube laid out over a small towel on the bedspread. Rafael leaned forward, kissing you softly as he pulled you into his lap, grinding against his hard on, you ran you nails through his hair, moaning against his mouth. He fell back against the bed as you trailed your kisses down his neck, nipping gently before returning to his mouth, hands roaming his body before they reached up to undo your bra, dropping it to the floor. Raf’s mouth found your breast in a second, sucking, biting, pulling your nipple away from your body, releasing it gently before he began his assault on the other one. You moaned loudly, raking your hands through his hair, you could feel the damp spot deepening on your panties, ready for everything Rafael had to offer tonight. He flipped you onto your stomach, leaning down to bite into your pulse point.

“Rafa….” You trailed off as he smirked to you, pulling a pillow from the head of your bed, placing it under your hips, raising them as he needed, pulling off your panties as he went.

“Yes Carino?” He chuckled, “You ready?”

“Yes…please..”You breathed as you felt the chill of the lube hit your ass, Rafael’s finger toyed around the entrance, as his other hand slowly alternated between your cunt and your clit. You moaned deeply, wanting more as Rafael gently inserted his finger into you, you gasped lightly as he pumped it in and out, slowly, gently, and surely before adding more lube and another finger. The ecstasy took you over, the double penetration, your love for Rafael, you were floating on cloud nine. Your body became his artwork in his hands as you writhed under him, moaning for more. Rafael continued to stretch you out, making sure he wouldn’t hurt you, his lips kissed and bit into your neck as his hands continued his decent, he grabbed the smallest of the plugs, coating it with lube, adding more to your tight hole before he slowly plunged it in. You moaned deeply, arching towards him as he pulled the plug in and out, he realized you were pretty stretched, and moved up to a larger plug, continuing to slowly play with your cunt, you nearly sobbed his name as his thumb circled your clit, hard and fast as you came on his fingers. He slowed his assault, coaxing you through your orgasm, satisfied with how stretched you were. He slowly pulled away, grasping your hip gently to coax you to roll over, he needed to see your face before more happened.

“Are you sure Hermosa?” His eyes were soft, you smiled up against him, ready for whatever he had for you,

“Yes. I am, please….fuck my ass..” You murmured against his lips. he pushed you back against the bed before flipping you over, slowly puling the plug from your ass, lubing up and pushing in the new one, softly penetrating you, pulling it back and fourth as you moaned at the intrusion. Your moans were nearly enough to make him cum on the spot, he could barely hold back and his cock wasn’t even inside of you yet. Rafael gently pulled the plug out of you, judging the size before he lubed up his cock, softly pushing the tip of his cock against you, your moans edging him on as he lightly pushed into you. He reminded you of your safe word as he plunged into you and you moaned deeply, praising his name constantly. Raf pushed you down into the mattress as he reached towards the bedside table, grabbing the small vibrator among your toys, pulling your hips back up as he continued to thrust into your ass, turning the vibrator on, hitting your clit. You nearly shrieked in excitement, throwing your body against his, practically screaming Rafael’s name as you came, the stimulation was simply too much, and Rafael loved it. One of his hands gripped your hips as he continued thrusting, relishing in the new and enhanced pleasures, with he brought his other down in a sequence of spanks across your cheeks, granting a very wanton moan from you. A few pumps later and he came inside your ass, swearing in Spanish as he collapsed gently on top of you, kissing your shoulders. A few moments later, he very slowly and softly pulled out, rolling you over gently as he reached for your face.

“Are you okay?” He gently asked, his care bearing right into your soul.

“Yes.” You breathed out, a smile on your cheeks, you ran your hand through his hair, “Rafi, I wanted all of that, believe me.” He kissed your cheek softly before retreating to the ensuite, coming back to softly clean you up, you hummed happily, he tossed the cloth into the laundry. Rafael pulled you deep into his arms, kissing your forehead as your breathing came to a normal level, his arms tight around you.


	17. Chapter 17

Friday night had rolled around yet again, you were about to clock out, knocking on Benson’s door jam as you entered, she was stuck on her phone, so you didn’t want to interrupt, waiting for her to hang up and address you before you spoke.

“Everything okay Sarge?” 

“Lucy’s come down with the flu.” She sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair.

“You have dinner with Raf tonight right?” You questioned, moving into the office, “Y’know, if you need someone to watch Noah I’m free.” 

“Are you sure?” Her eyes looked up to you, you’d hung out in groups and with Noah multiple times, the boy loved you, she just didn’t expect it.

“Of course! I mean, I don’t have plans tonight, you are stealing my boyfriend and all” You laughed softly, “Just make sure Raf brings me dessert when he picks me up.” 

“That would be *amazing* Y/N.”

***  
You and Noah spent the evening having a blast, you made sure his homework was done, then you ordered pizza, playing multiple games on the Wii, joking around and having a good old time. Olivia and Rafael showed up while Noah was kicking your ass at a round of Mario Kart, you didn’t even try to lose as he crossed the finish line, you groaned over enthusiastically, tossing down the remote. 

“Well kid, you really did kick my butt tonight.” You ruffled his hair, “But I feel like you should probably go brush your teeth bub.” Noah leaned into you, giving you a quick hug and saying goodnight before he ran off into the apartment.

Olivia thanked you for sitting, which you tossed off, friends help friends, you grabbed your coat, throwing it on as you took Rafael’s hand, walking back to your apartment.

**  
As the two of you retreated into your apartment, Rafael was hesitant, and you noticed that something was off as you tossed your coat over the back of the couch.

“You’re uncharacteristically quiet. Got anything to say?”

“You’re really good with Noah…” You smiled gently. Rafael took a deep sigh, he loved you more than he could even imagine, and you’d never discussed something that could be a complete deal breaker, “Do…do you want kids?” 

“I’m leaning towards no.” You sighed, “It’s always been kinda up in the air, whoever I end up with. I’m okay with never having kids, the idea honestly kinda disturbs me, the whole, something growing inside of you and then having to push it out of you?! No thank you! When I was younger I was all about adoption, I figured why bring more people into this world when there’s so many people that need healthy homes. But…once I got into this job….it just doesn’t seem right, how can I walk out the door every single day not knowing if I’m gonna come back to who I left or not. I would HATE leaving a family behind it something happened on the force.” Your voice was incredibly soft as you trailed off,

Rafael paused, taking in everything you had said, the last fact hit hard, but it was completely true, not to mention he was terrified of being the same man his father was. You looked up at him expectantly, 

“Hermosa,” He began, and then stuttered,

“Raf,” You smiled gently, “Do you want kids?” He sighed heavily, dropping his head, knowing how much time work took up.

“Honestly…no…”He glanced up at you, expected your face to fall, you simply smiled at him, reassuring him. “Are you sure you’re okay with that? My father, he wasn’t exactly positive, and with sex crimes, we see so much damage every day, I just don’t know if I could ever bring a child into that world.” He paused slightly, “And like you said, babies…something about them is just too much.” 

“So we agree?” You lips curled into a smile, leaning forward to kiss him.

“Yes, we are in agreement detective.” He kissed you back gently, pulling your body against him.


	18. Chapter 18

The squad was set up in the bull pen, ready to head out to the vans on the street as you made your way out of the locker room. You were draped in a deep blue ballgown, the neckline cutting into your chest as your back was completely exposed, a slit up your right leg exposed that half of your body. Your hair was coifed up into a low side bun, your makeup much deeper than normal, you walked back into the bull pen as Fin wolf whistled. You rolled your eyes, glancing over at Rafael, a smirk resident on his face. You and Carisi were set to head into a gala, undercover as a married couple, and needed to be more than believable.

“Keep calm Rafa, “ You gave fair warning, sliding on the fake wedding ring onto your left hand has Carisi did the same with his, “We’ll be back in a few hours.” He couldn’t stop but notice the rings, a ping in his chest as he watched you twist it into place. You gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as you moved past him.

“Everything by the book! You understand?” He was firm, and you knew it had to be that way, or the case wouldn’t hold.

“Of course counsellor.” You smiled, linking your arm around Carisi’s waist, his hand following your lead, wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him. You could see the rage burying itself in Rafael’s eyes as Carisi’s hand graced your bare back as the two of you started to move out of the squad room.

“Keep your hands where I can see them detective!” Rafael only half joked to Carisi as the two of you exited the bull pen, you looked back at your boyfriend, flipping him off with a smirk evident on your lips before you grabbed Carisi’s ass, causing him to yelp. You laughed heartily as you made your way to the elevators.

*****  
An exhausting evening undercover followed by a a literal night at SVU, questioning suspects, interviewing witnesses, countless bouncing back and fourth between interrogation rooms, you’d finally made it home by dawn. Finding Rafael in the kitchen, coffee was brewed, it seemed he was making breakfast, the smell assaulted your nostrils, as you entered the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his back, kissing his neck softly.

“Good morning.” You murmured into his neck, nipping gently at him. He turned in your arms, a smile on his face as he kissed you. 

“Morning mi amor.” Rafael stroked your cheek, “I picked you up a little something.” His head nodded towards the kitchen table, you kissed him softly before detaching yourself from his arms. You picked up the small paper bag, turning back towards the island, placing it down before your hand reached in to pull out the oh to recognizable blue Tiffany’s box, you felt your heart jump in your chest, looking up at Rafael, casually serving up plates of food. Cracking the box open you found an absolutely gorgeous diamond ring inside, a square centre piece, surrounded by smaller gems, extending onto the band.

“Rafa…” Externally he was calm, casual. sipping on his coffee like it was just another Wednesday morning, which made anxiety creep up in your body, wondering what exactly his gameplay was,(internally he was freaking the fuck out. He’d remembered your comments about marriage with Amanda and wasn’t sure this was what you wanted, or if it was too soon…) “Is this simply jewelry, or?” He put down the coffee mug, crossing over to you, cupping your cheek in his palm.

“Marry me.” You could feel his green eyes boring into you, soft, happy, full of love and a hint of insecurity.

“I see no reason to object counsellor.” He let out a bark of a laugh at your response, pulling you into a kiss before placing the ring on your finger. Rafael was completely elated, truthfully, he had no idea what direction this was going to go, but he knew he wanted to be with you, that you were his endgame, and you truly felt the same.

“I love you hermosa.” 

“I love you too Rafael…” You snuggled into him for another kiss, solidifying the happy future you were elatedly looking forward to.


End file.
